Travel-Mate Pocket-Sized Language Translator
- Isn't "pocket-sized"
- Hand-cranking makes casual conversation difficult and "awkward"
- Inability to process dialects creates frequent misunderstandings
- Screeching, high-pitched mechanism alarming to some, especially French and Japanese people
- Manual volume control by "putting your ear closer" considered unreliable and dangerous
- Damage waiver and consent forms discourage candid dialogue
- Single-slice capacity insufficient for most commercial and residential applications
- Diesel turbine leaves "petroleum" aftertaste to toast
- Duel "de-crusting" shredders were inaccurate, causing operator injury
- Hook'N'Pulley toast removal mechanism too complex and extremely risky for operators under 5' tall
- Shoulder strap failed to make toaster truly "portable"
ShoeMax 1400 Commercial Shoe TreeModel #763E-01
- Toxic discharge
- Excessive torque resulting in frequent shoe tearing and distension
- Heavy operator bruising and sausage-sized welts
- Smoke inhalation resulting in bloody stool
TrimMagic Lawn EdgerMODEL #Gh-674200
- Property and utility line damage
- Rapid operator harness "whiplash"
- Violent flywheel kickback
Execu-Grill 8400 Gas Grill
- No cook top - does not open
- No grill surface
- No doors to access storage
- No place to attach propane tank or hose
Happy Chef! Cheese Grater
- For some reason, will not grate muenster cheese
- Steel safety chest plate cumbersome and not "cheese colored"
- Wild fluctuations in RPM's resulting in erratic and violent cheese overspray
Universal TV Remote
- Cumbersome and labor-intensive channel-changing wheel
- No volume control
- Requires grounded extension chord for power - no battery capability
- Must be connected to most TV's with an expensive and unreliable network of cables, belts, and hooks
- Comes in only one color
- Requires near constant lubrication
- Frequent pinching and "thumb popping" creates unpleasant entertainment experience